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[08 Jul 2003|12:27am] ((This journal is 8 months into the future.)) I completely forgot about this thing...i think they were about to terminate my account, how long it had been since i updated. But im not sure if i'll update anymore. I'd do it just so my friends knew what was happening...but...i doubt they'll be using it, either. I cant believe im still alive. I dont remember much...all i remember was Trieze running off...realizing where Quatre and Heero were...panic...then a searing white light that sent me flying backwards in my cockpit, made my restraints almost crush me, made my eyes burn. Then, im not sure if it was a dream or not. I'm sure it was Zero...But i'll never forget it. I woke up several hours later, and all i saw were stars. All around me. After a few groggy moments, i realized that this was defenatly not a good thing, since i was supposed to be in a suit. But i still felt my restraints. When i was finally able to see straight, i saw that almost the entire front of my mech was completely obliterated. The only remains of thee Vaycreous (or whatever it was called) was the cockpit, which i was still attached to. I dont know how i wasn't completely sliced up by flying shards of metal. My guess was the torn up enemy Taurus that was floating a few feet next to me. Its entire back was missing. Funny...my enemy was my savior. I wonder if that would have made Une happy, or furious. I dont really care. I've started a new institution, a new Preventers Headquarters, without anything to remind me of her. Its a new beginning, with me running the show. Its located in Rome, Italy, if anyone cares to stop by and view my handy work. I wonder if...'Trieze' survived. I guess, in a way, i was right about him. It wasnt Trieze. But in the last moments of battle, i completely forgot. I was brought back to the last war, where i gladly fought beside him. Thats the Trieze i saw running off with Seivan. I guess thats why i panicked. As soon as i was able to leave the hospital, i looked for them. They were my first thought when i woke up. I found them all. It wasnt easy, especially pinning down Trowa, who had moved around more in the last few months then anyone i ever knew. But knowing they were alright allowed me to heal with a comforted heart. I've found my purpose...to keep the preventers going. I know for sure that they will always be needed, and i am going to make damn sure that they will always be around, especially since i cant be. Prevent a War

[05 Jul 2003|12:16pm] ((for preventers HQ only)) Evacuate the building immediatly. A bomb has been planted -dont try to difuse it, just get everyone in the building, and in the area, the hell out of there now. Prevent a War

[04 Jul 2003|08:03pm] Life certainly has a way of taking unexpected turns, and throwing curvballs from all sorts of directions. It leaves you completely disoriented. You find yourself unable to determine how you feel, what you feel...you just want to be swallowed up, and never have to feel again. You find yourself wanting to take the easy way out, so life can't punch you in the stomach over and over and laugh as you cough and struggle for breath. And most of the time that feeling never goes away, no matter what people tell you, because no matter how surrounded by others you are, you still feel alone. And even if other people say they accept you, if you're rejected by the people you really, really want to be accepted by, then the acceptance you do recieve seems void. And then life isnt worth living. Some people live soely for one purpose. Most people spend their entire lives searching for that one purpose. Some people dont find their purpose, and their entire life seems pointless and wasted. The people who have their purpose hang onto it with such a vice grip that when they find they've accomplished whatever they were set out to do, and they have nothing to hang on to...they fall. No balance, nothing to hold them up. No one to hold them up. And they're lost, and once again their life is void. That's why people make friends. So they have a reason to continue if they dont have a purpose. They're shoulders to cry on, wisdom when you're not quite sure which direction to take. They make you smile, they make you laugh, they cry with you when your sad, then cheer you up and remind you how wonderful you've got it, and that they'll always be there for you. For those of us who don't have anyone in their life like that, it makes living even more miserable. Thats why friends and purposes are so important. They're all that hold people together. I feel myself constantly falling. I keep taking these giant leaps backwards, in almost everything. The only backward steps im NOT taking is in the battle i'm fighting as i "write" this. I'm going forward in something, at least. I'm afraid, i really am. Not to die. Not failure -i know we're going to win. Its winning im scared of. Because if we win, then i have no purpose. No reason to live. Helping them...its been everything. Everything for years. They werent always around, but before them, i was helping other people. Its all i feel i can do. I try to help the people i care about in any way possible. If i dont, i feel empty. When the cannon is destroyed, im positive they'll go seperate ways -maybe not all of them, but some of them. And i probably wont see any of them again. And then what will i have? I have no purpose and no allys. I dont know if they consider me a friend, but the people i fight with have been, and always will be, all i have. Its pretty pathetic that i feel im almost made for war. I havent quite found a purpose outside of it. I hope that i will. The one thing thats kept me going through all the shocks, the hurt, the rejection, the loss...is that i have to keep going to help them. "No, i cant die, Weaver will be Secritary of Defense, and that will make it harder for everyone." "No, i cant give up, they need me to do this," "No, i cant let go, i have to do this.." If...if i didnt have people who i thought needed me, even a little, then...well...i dont know. I'm not sure what would have happened. But as long as people need me im going to be strong. As long as i have something to fufil, nothing will get in my way. I'm not going to be stepped on, not ever. My goal is to win this war with everyone it started with. Nothing stopped me before, and nothing will stop me this time. Prevent a War

[01 Jul 2003|12:34pm] I think you'll all be happy to know that, after the successful mission and survival of all 15 preventers, more preventers have volunteered their services. I think it's safe to say that they were more then a little put off at the odds of survival. Now that their comrades have come out of a rather nasty battle virtually unscathed, their confidence has risen significantly. I wish i had gotten here sooner; if i had, the other gundams wouldnt be in such a state. Prevent a War

Dooms Day? [27 Jun 2003|01:37pm] So Earth is, yet again, in danger of being blown clear out of the solar system. Why am i not surprised? I guess i've just had too many shocks to be shocked anymore. Howard could have told me that brain-eating aliens were invading the earth, and we had seven days to blow up their mother ship before the human race was reduced to mindless zombies. I'm also...not worried. I just have this feeling that everything is going to be alright. Maybe thats because no matter what we've come up against, we've always come out victorious. Maybe this time will be different -who knows. It wont matter, anyway. No one will be alive to feel dissappointed. ((screened for allys)) I've contacted the Preventers Headquarters. I told every preventer with at least a stitch of talent to be ready. I've gone through lists, i've gone through my own oppinions of certain people, and all together we have at least 50. That is not a lot. Everyone else i either dont trust, or they don't have enough experiance to fight this kind of a battle. Its mostly experiance. I'll keep looking, maybe ask Sally for some people she knows, but it doesnt look good. I'm also gathering together all the supplies we have; mechs, ammo, metal, etc. They'll all be shipped to peacemillion, or kept here for the Preventers who might battle to use. I'm also considering upgrating our mechs to suit Mars better by using the information i gathered from the upgrated Taurus suits. It'll work amazing for my Taurus. I gave a copy of said information to Quatre, so he can use it how he likes. Our supplies are everyone elses supplies; if anyone needs anything, dont hesitate to ask. I guess thats all. Man, i thought i was busy before... Now. To ASK them if they want to fight.... 2 Heros| Prevent a War

BASTARD [25 Jun 2003|10:48pm] ((Screened for Noins comrads -not wufei again- only)) Its exactly as we've feard. Trieze is probably the enemy. The Hellas Basin is actually the Hellas Big Fucking Cannon. Its the size of a city. Trieze acted all surprised, like he'd never seen it. NEVER SEEN A CANNON THE SIZE OF NEW YORK ON HIS OWN PLANET?? Does he think im stupid? He must think he's damn sly. Little does he know that i was wired. Little does he know that i have no plans in going with him and Wufei, and little does he know that im not planning on telling the EUSN ANYTHING when he wants me to. I'm on my way to Peacemillion as we speak. Expect me. Prevent a War

Done. [25 Jun 2003|08:46pm] ((screened for gundam pilots -NOT Wufei- only)) Information sent. Co-ordinates sent. Ammo sent. Search team sent. Device active. Ready. Prevent a War

[23 Jun 2003|12:40am] He...he QUIT!!! Wufei quit the damn preventers, i just got the letter! ...Why....what the hell is he thinking??? First he distances himself from everyone, and now this? ...what am i supposed to do...i have maybe two truely qualified preventers left, and i dont know where one of them is! Everyone just keeps leaving me... I'm going to kill him!!! ...Actions of others my fucking ass. What the hell am i going to do now? 4 Heros| Prevent a War

[22 Jun 2003|10:47am] ((screened for comrads, yada yada)) I've put Sage in the deepest, darkest jail cell in the entire complex. I did a small interrogration before hand, but came up with nothing. Apperantly, she knows absolutely nothing about her boss, or why she's here in the first place. Its basically "Take orders no questions asked." That is never truley the case. Even if SHE thinks she doesnt know anything, i'm positive i can get useful information off of her, even if she doesnt think its valueble. I plan on a second, more...'foreful' interrogation in the near future. And, if i still come up with nothing....i havent decided what to do with her yet. I think Une would have had her killed.. I dont know if thats what i should do. I want her out of the way, and i think its too dangerous to keep her around here. She could escape, or people could come after her. Either way its dangerous. I think the best thing would be to execute her. There's also the question of weapons inspection. I have got to get to Mars. I dont trust a single person on that planet farther then i can throw a pickup truck. And that includes Trieze. There's something completely off about this whole 'back from the dead' senario, and im positive im not the only one who thinks so. I'm trying my damn hardest to quelch the anger i feel towards him for Une's death, in order to make unbiased and professional decisions...but its difficult. I just dont know what to think, which is why i want to see everything with my own eyes. Prevent a War

Sage's confinement. [20 Jun 2003|04:26pm] The funeral went as planned. I couldn't appreciate any of the beauty of the ceremony because all i could think about was her. I hardly heard anyone speak. I'm surprised i pulled everything off the way i did. Now, onto the third thing i'm doing for you, Une: Sage's access to any of the preventers facilities is hereby denied. All guards, and preventers on duty, are told to restrict her access to wandering the halls. If she fights anyone keeping her from entering a room, or speaking to another preventer, she is to be disarmed and put into the jail facility, with no visitors but myself. Until i speak to her personally, all these rules apply. If she retaliates physically, her death will not be held on the head of the preventer who kills her. She is to be held inside the building, unarmed, until i do speak to her. Sage is to be ridden of all possessions except clothes, which are to be thoroughly checked. If she has a room, leave nothing in it but a blanket. If the blanket is checked and seems suspicious, take that as well, and leave her with nothing. Once again, if force is nessicary, it is allowed. Prevent a War

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